I've been up, I've been down, I've been fair-to-middling.
And I've been writing letters. None of which will get posted. Not because what's in them is wrong or bad but more that I feel that the people they are for won't want to read them. Perhaps it's just an attack of low self-esteem but I really don't feel like what I have to say is terribly important to the people whose opinions matter to me.
Perhaps I'll feel better about it tomorrow, I don't know. I'm sure at least one letter will go this week: the most necessary one. No, not for 'never-to-be' (that's a letter I doubt will ever get sent), this is to a person in some ways much more important. And it's not going well.
Ahh bollocks. I've had enough of my angst. Raking over the coals of my soul is something I just can't be bothered with today.
So here's an amusing clip from Britain's youngest curmudgeon, Charlie Brooker:
2 comments:
"Ahh bollocks. I've had enough of my angst. Raking over the coals of my soul is something I just can't be bothered with today"
I think that's the first step on the road to happiness. Anyway, the important thing about letters is the writing not the sending of them.
I think I agree - mostly. I've regretted, a couple of times recently, sending the letters I've written. Not because they didn't need to be written but because they didn't have to be read by the recipient. Some things you really just need to get out but it's better if you can get the catharsis without affecting someone else.
But there are some things that it's important to tell someone and know that they've heard you: these things should only be good things, however. I'm sticking to my (very new and itchy to wear) mandate of giving out positivity. Struggling against years of being reserved and cynical - but it feels good when it all comes together.
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