Wednesday, December 31, 2003

R.I.P. 2003

We were close, very close. I'll miss you... *sniff*

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

A new record...

Full-on training 4 days straight. Ouch. My hurts have hurts.

Monday, December 29, 2003


I hurt in places I didn't know existed...

Saturday, December 27, 2003

A Blogjam moment

Bollocks to this, I'm off to Hanmer.

(Credits to Fraser)

Friday, December 26, 2003

madness is all around, shall we fight it or join in?

Heh, hilarious texts from P-Loopy yesterday: " Yay 4 th annual family bullrush tourney! Granny wont get past me this yr, walkin frame or no walkin frame!" followed by "Gran's limpin &goin on bout arthritis but I kno its all a tax dodge. Shes goin down". Last one in the evening was: "Gr8 day! Unc Steves homemade wine tasted like petrol &everyone got trollied &gran fell over &then she ate my aromatherapy candle that was my present"

Scary thing is it could all be true...

Anyway, I'm off for a training weekend tomorrow so won't be posting till I return. If I return. And only if I can still move my fingers afterwards. Not looking forward to this...

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Wednesday, December 24, 2003


thought I was going to be able to get through christmas without hearing Snoopy's Xmas. Now I have to gouge out my frontal lobes with a spoon...

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie

Twas the night before the night before xmas and all through the house there was an odd scratching noise... I blame the mouse.

Fucking rodents. And the fucking cat - what's he on about then? Better bloody earn his keep or I'm definitely going to start calling him names. From a safe distance.

Monday, December 22, 2003

Bile, Spleen & Invective

Actually, that'd be a good name for a firm of lawyers.

I was going to rant more about my loathsome workmates but I find myself too wound up by the moronic, irritating, obnoxious & nauseating pack of cunts to be able to write anything that won't come across like ravings of a psychopath just before he goes on a killing spree.

What I want for christmas is an AK47...

eyes like pissholes in the snow

It's probably entirely my own fault tho. I used to sleep a lot - in my dolie days (ahhh, happy memories...) I'd sleep all the time, I loved dreaming, had nothing to do during the days or nights 'cept read & sleep (and get drunk, smoke weed, etc, but that goes without saying). I used to have amazing dreams. Wish I'd kept a dream diary but then I never even concieved that I might not dream much again, or that when I did I would have only the most tenuous recollections of them...

So I seem to have used up my sleep and dream quota.

Fuck this, I'm going to go have another stab at it.

Nighty night all. Heh. All 1 of you (Hi Bo!). :-)

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Insomnia. Oh how I loathe thee...

Why do I not sleep? I hate to miss out on anything so sleep seems like a waste of time. Not really the reason but fuck I have no idea why.

Too much happening in my brain. Ha. Many people would disagree with that of course... The problem with my thoughts is that they're always going a mile a minute & jumping around like a cocaine addicted grasshopper. I can never seem to get them to settle of my own will. Sleep has to come of it's own accord and it apparently doesn't like to inhabit my head much.

I think things in the depths of the night that I feel I should write down coz they're fun or pithy or interesting or just crap but important to me. But the few times I have attempted to make a record of these nocturnal epiphanies they evaporate even as I write them down - the simple act of putting pen to paper & trying to order my thoughts so they can be written causes the thought to go into irreversible cardiac arrest and if there is anything to be written it just comes out cold and lifeless.

Like all this for instance.


runken dramblings

Yay! As if we haven't caused enough mayhem for the weekend already, there's a bonfire in the carpark out back! Must go char some marshmallows...

When I own a pub I'm going to call it the Frog & Eel.

christ, I've been drinkin for well over 24 hrs now... blarrrgh

Saturday, December 20, 2003

sod it - lets party!

I was going to continue a catalogue of the genetic throwbacks that inhabit my Bosch-esque workplace but I haven't the energy. Just thinking about them makes me shuder sometimes...

I will continue at a later date but now is not the time - I'd rather be thinkin about happier things. Like gunning them all down.

I'd better get organised for this shindig happening tonight - have no booze with which to plaster myself. To the bottle store! Saddle my horse!

Friday, December 19, 2003

The continuing saga of the denizens of my workplace...

Chewy, the stuck record is just a volunteer but she seems to spend all her time here. And despite that she doesn't seem to ever actually do anything except complain. All. The. Fucking. Time. It's a bit of a joke between me & the Dayfish, how avoiding Chewy, the stuck record is a skill required for self-preservation else you get trapped into her never-ending cycle of moan, gripe, bitch... I say a 'bit' of a joke because when it comes down to it the laughter we have over Chewy, the stuck record is tinged with desperation and fear. Plus she's always chewing gum. Like a cow with cud. It's gross.

Bleckh. That's enough for now.

To carry on with my diatribe...

And now the Bad & the Ugly, they're hard to tell apart:

Geekboy. Our regular stopgap guide. Which means he comes in whenever we're a man down. Far too often. Probably quite intelligent but has the social skills of a naked mole rat. Which makes him perfect customer service of course... Has no sense of humour but thinks he does - his ideas of funny are limited to trying to be clever (and failing, which on another level I guess does make him funny...).

Thicko. Our 'head' guide, strangely enough. Strange coz there doesn't seem to be much in his head. But not a bad guy really. I'm doing him a disservice putting him in this category really. He's nice enough in an annoyingly thick-as-pig-shit way. And loud. And also has no social skills. Sigh...

The preening one... Well, at the risk of sounding like a stuck record - once again very few in the way of social skills. No, on reflection I think he does have them he just choses not to use them. For some reason he doesn't seem to think that communicating with people is at all an important thing in his job. Which either makes him a surly dickhead or a moron. I've yet to decide which. Probably both. He has great hair though, of which he is obviously very proud. Plus he's a sleazoid. The only time he will actually expend some energy interacting with the public is if that particular public happens to be in the form of a hot babe. Preferably blonde.

God this is depressing. I'm glad I don't have very much to do with many of these adverts for euthanasia...

workmates and other strangenesses

Funny how the things that prompt you to write are things that make you angry. My problem is that I don't have much that makes me angry outside of what I see happening on the news. My life is pretty sweet really, I can (and probably will) blog about my workmates since they're the ones who get on my tits most often. Or my flatmate, the pommie poseur...

Actually - just thinkin bout the workmates has raised some ire. Let me introduce the cast...

First the good:

The Dayfish, my boss. A lovely boy. Honest, hardworking (too much so one might say... and I have many times!), pleasant, amiable, & he loves the fish (not in that way you sicko...). Quite a clean-cut, straight-living man tho. Could do with some weirding up...

The Tobinator. A new addition to the team and a fuckload better than the waste of oxygen he replaced. Still an unknown quantity in some ways but a very capable man as far as we've seen. And has some outspoken political views - similar to mine which makes for interesting discussions.

I'll continue later, gotta go for now.

archaic word of the day

weequashing (n)
In common usage 1888 -1902.
The spearing of fish or eels by torchlight from canoes.
Example: The Scouts went out weequashing, but they forgot to obtain the proper permit.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

lalalalala... workin hard as usual... heh heh

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

gollum dies

Just to ruin the movie for all those going to view it in about 5mins. Geeks.


Why do people say "I thought to myself..."? When was the last time you thought to anyone else?

surfing makes you angry...

Just to get all tediously political & current-affairs-y: with all the hoopla and back slapping about the capture of Saddam (but lets not ignore what else is happening in Iraq), has anyone mentioned the name Osama lately? Shouldn't the guy who has been the catalyst for this whole 'War on Terror' bullshit be number one priority? And also, yes Saddam Hussein is a murdering bastard of the first order, and yes it's great that he's now available for US propaganda, but... shouldn't more dictators be in the firing line? Like the delightful 'President' Islam Karimov of Uzbekistan?

all sharked up

New additions at SEA - a brace of sevengill sharks. Both seem to be doing fairly well, which can be put down to my boss being on hand when our fish-killer - oops! I mean catcher! - reeled them in. Amazing how much more healthy the fish are when caught by someone who actually cares if they live or die...

But anyway, yes - two lovely sharks, one big one small. The main tank is looking pretty full coz of the addition (over the last two weeks) of 'stumpy', the tail-less (not our fault!) short-tailed stingray, a couple of big blue cod (pushy buggers...), and the humongous conger eel. That thing scares me...

full house

So we have a new flattie! Yay! Just in time to not have to pay an extra week's rent... although the deal isn't signed and sealed yet so better not jinx it. But in any case, she seems lovely and friendly. Hope this one works out...

And yes Bobo, she is drop dead gorgeous. I did notice. And her boyfriend seems lovely too. Get yer mind out of the gutter. Rule one of flatting: don't screw the crew (the other rule are: be tolerant, be assertive, and most importantly: don't flat in Brockworth place). Tho A. is already planning on jumping any hot rockclimbing boys she might have as friends... Sigh...

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

mangled metaphors & indiscriminate abuse

Sorry to my devoted fans and adoring public who have been waiting with baited breath for more pearls of wisdom to be strewn before them by my dazzling intellect & staggering wisdom. I will attempt to me more erudite & profound tomorrow, just now I'm too shagged so must flake out.

I'll merely leave you with this thought:

Do not walk behind me for I cannot lead you. Do not walk in front for I will not follow. Don't walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just sod off and leave me alone.


Don't really think I like this colour either but haven't the time/inclination/taste to make it any better at the mo. If you read this RoBo I might get you to cast yer expert artist's eye over the colour 'scheme' ('dogsbreakfast') and offer pertinent and helpful insights. No mocking or sniggering.

better? hmmm...

Smaller and less shriekingly in-yer-face. But perhaps another colour? sigh... back to the code...

testing testing

Just trying to get these titles less obnoxious (the format, not the content - sorry, that'll remain as crap as always). Bear with me.
Is Eric Cartman the best tv character ever invented? I think so.
Blah, work...

Monday, December 15, 2003

right, 'nuff o this tomfoolery - I'm off to bed.
nighty nighty all.
Excellent! There's nothing like figuring something out on your own for making you feel godlike & superintelligent. Yay me! :)
Here's hoping it stays fixed...
hmmm, have just realized that the fiddling that I did with the template seems to have obliviated my archives... And while this isn't exactly critical considering I've only been blogging for a grand three days now, it is annoying. Will now attempt to rectify.
Thought I write this just so I'd have something posted on tuesday, as it now is, this being my first day back at slavery - oops! I mean work...
I hope the fish didn't miss me too much.
Yay famblies huh? I must be getting old & wise coz mine is actually ok (most o the time... well, when I don't talk to them too much...). Having a small family unit (eunuch. heh. he's only 4'6"... sorry, I'm drunk) and being so far away from any other blood rellies that we'd even want to associate with I think made us a bit tighter as a family. But still not too emotional of course - that's not the English way! Stiff upper lips & all that...
Still, for all the emotional unspokenness we're pretty close, despite religious and lifestyle differences...
Hmmmm, will have to ponder on this a little more. And ponder on just how much to write here...
I'm not a naturally very open person, tend to keep the private stuff pretty private so this is going to be a little uncomfortable till I come to grips with letting the world read my mind. Even a little. Not that much of the world is going to be terribly interested in my mind I'm sure. Not entirely sure that I want to know all that's goin on in there...
Probly a little icky.
Well, that'll do for drunken rambles...
A new day, a new blog entry - wow, am I consistant!

Sunday, December 14, 2003


A sneak attack! Now I have you bent to my will! Mwahahahaha!!!
I think it's best if we leave it at that for the first day. I'm sure we've got some things to work on and think about separately. We'll try to be more cordial next time we meet, hm? I promise not to swear at you or bang my head on the keyboard again if you'll try not to just sit there with smug imperviousness and ignore me entirely. Ciao.
Hmmm... Well, we've only just begun this relationship and I can tell that you're going to be an ornery bitch...
Hello cyberspace! I hope we'll be good friends - be gentle with me, it's my first time...