Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Ok so my emotions are still all over the place like a mad woman's knitting but I'm determined not to let this shit drag me down.

I've been focused for far too long on the negative aspects of my life, my relationships, and especially my personality. It's time to actually start realising that I'm not all bad, accepting the bits that are (and changing them where possible), and just being happy with being me.

Big words that are going to be excruciatingly difficult to implement but fucking hell, enough is enough. I'm actually pretty awesome.


helena said...

Big words but not incredibly difficult to implement if you start off small.

I'm incredibly negative about myself which can lead to black depressions (runs in the family I fear)but I've learnt that the way of defeating them is not to try to change anything big about yourself all at once, but to start by accepting/liking the small things.

They can be as tiny as "i make a good cup of tea" or "those hyacinths I finally got round to planting after my mum nagged me about it for months have grown and are beautiful" (2 examples that are in my line of sight while I'm typing!) and neither of them are major at all but somehow all the minor things that make you happy and feel positive about yourself accumulate and before you know it, the big things are looking better too. (Or you're viewing them from a better angle - which is the same thing).

Because we are all pretty awesome really. We just forget it.

(Sorry if I sound like a self-help book)

Jen said...

I heartily second Helena. Smart woman!

I think you're awesome. So, there's that.

fishboy said...

Helena: That's not self-help bookish at all. Or at least it's the good kind. Those are the sorts of things I'm training myself to do - to see the good stuff and appreciate that I do some things very well. Stop dwelling on the negatives. It'll take a while but I know I can get there.

Jen: Thanks :) That means a lot.

y said...

I remember reading your '100 things about me' about 3 or 4 years ago and thinking ' well, a guy who always crosses the road to talk to a cat can't be bad'.