Wednesday, June 30, 2004

good sport

So I watched some of the Wimbledon tennis last night. For perhaps the first time I watched a whole game of ladies singles (love that they still call them "ladies'" and "gentlemen's", how quaint!), and for the first time I wasn't just watching for the skimpy skirts and cute wee gasps they make when hitting the ball. Honest!

Although it was Maria Sharapova playing. Rrraouw... I know, I know - she's built up in the media as the next Anna Kournikova but I think the difference between them is that Sharapova actually has some talent. As well as a neck & shoulders you'd just want to drip maple syrup all over then lick it off...


Anyway. It was a good match - by no means excellent, but the last set was a pretty impressive display of firepower. There were too many unforced errors from Sharapova, despite the fact she is/can be a better player than Sugiyama (who was amazingly quick around the court and much more cool-headed). She's through to the next round so I'm happy. Although she gets to face Lindsay Davenport next, and she's a formidable player.

Other news from abroad yesterday was that my karate campadres all achieved their gradings in Florida over the weekend. My bro and Dazza both got 3rd Dan and Frazer went to 4th. Yay for the Yoshukai boys! Hope they're not too hungover...

Oh god, look at me - yapping away about the tennis with only an afterthought to the real man's sport of beating the crap out of people. I've been in Sydney only a couple of months and already the metrosexual disease is setting in...

Monday, June 28, 2004

yoshukai mascot?

On a lighter note
 Posted by Hello

This is my sensei's beloved pug, Brains. Oh yes, Frazer is a badass karate dude with a hook-kick that can take yer head clean off. So you don't make fun of his dog. Nuh-huh.

i'm going slightly mad

Not feeling the best at the moment. Ennui coupled with a general malaise. Had a migrane on Saturday which has made me a little tender and out of sorts...

Listening to Eddie Izzard at the moment which helps a bit.

I'm a bit pissed off and sad about not going to a couple of events elsewhere in the world. Firstly there was the big par-tay in Chch this weekend for a trio of my friends' (of whom Kurly was one) 30th birthdays (happy birthday again babe!).

Secondly my brother, sensei, and a bunch of other black belts are in Florida for Summer Camp at the moment, getting kicked around by the big guys. Frazer and my bro are both grading so I hope all went well! Actually they'll have finished and are probably very drunk right now whatever the outcome. And possibly bruised too...

Haven't managed any serious karate since they left (only 10 days ago) which is certainly adding to my feelings of unrightness.

Only managed to leave the house once today. I think I may be somewhat agoraphobic. Well, not actually afraid of open spaces, it's the people in them I don't like much. Hang on... *Googles for appropriate phobia*. It could be Enochlophobia, Demophobia or Ochlophobia. Or Sociophobia. Actually, reading a little deeper it seems that Agoraphobia fits pretty well being that it is the fear of crowded public spaces not wide open spaces. Or so The Phobia List tells me.

A fair amount of this probably comes from living in Mosman. Which is on the North Shore of Seednee, with all that that implies for those who know. To be more clear about it - it's full of rich, BMW/SUV driving wankers. And their blonde, power-walking wives. I fucking hate it here. Give me Kings' Cross any day, I'm more comfortable around addicts and hookers than upwardly-mobile preppy scum.

Sod it. I can't even muster the energy to be pissed off.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

[insert witty title]

Just one more then I'm going to bed (early to bed & all that crap, there's good money on my being back here in a couple of hours...).

America needs more people like this guy. From the ever entertaining Tailor's Today.

Defective Yeti
's wonderful Bad Review Revue. The best one for ages has to be the review of New York Minute: "As agonizing as a sucking chest wound."

Finally, I don't know where I got this one from (probably Frank, it seems like something you'd like too). The Ultimate War Sim. I know I'd be hooked, but then I read the news so I guess I am already...

Night all.

*foodge* (am I doing that right Michelle?) :)

i have nothing to say

I just wanted to say that.

But any excuse to post the latest jokes:

Q: What do you call a Fat Goth?
A: Vampire the Buffet Slayer.


Pirate 1: Where's your buccaneers?
Pirate 2: Under my buckin' hat.


(from Popbitch)

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

there you go

Sorry about the quality of the photos, I have no digital camera and very little in the way of photographic talent. The last photo I took myself in the bathroom mirror and while it's pretty crappy it's about the best of the bunch.

There you have it. Me in my chrome-dome spectacularity.

The finished product. Posted by Hello

The operation... Posted by Hello

The original fishboy Posted by Hello

Sunday, June 20, 2004

works in progress

I'm supposedly writing my CV today, a self-esteem crushing task at the best of times... What was I doing for those years in the 90s? Oh, that's right, doing lots of drugs and generally slobbing about.

Hey ho, at least I'll have great stories to tell my grandchildren. Or at least I would if I was going to have offspring at all. Or could remember much of what I did. I had a good time though! I think...

So, yes, CV. That's right.

Writing about how fabulous I am and why anyone would be a fool not to hire me.


Which is of course why I'm tinkering with my blog. Careful where you go, I've not finished shoring up the side-bar. And the fonts may be a little lumpy so watch your step, I'll sand them down soon I promise.

No worries, a lick of paint and the thing'll look as good as new! Just ignore the wee termite problem, it's only cosmetic.

and i'm half full

(via Farting Through My Fingertips)

Friday, June 18, 2004

a whole new adventure

So I got Hello working (obviously). Now all I need are some photos to scare you all with (the Livingston photo was courtesy of his guardian Kurly. Awwww, cute widdle puddy tat...). I'll take the shaved-head film in tomorrow and as soon as they return you can feast your eyes on the glory that is my scalp.

Soon my pretties, soon...

The evil beast... Posted by Hello

Thursday, June 17, 2004

new spokesman for the green movement?

From Popbitch:

"I DON'T. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them.
They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And
into the WATER. Then. They get lodged in the
throats of little. OTTERS."

- Christopher Walken

Look after the environment. Or else.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004


So has 'The Simpsons' finally jumped the shark? I've been less than impressed with the quality of the latest series but was willing to cut some slack due to 15 seasons of excellent service.

But now... I'm a little worried:

They've done a credit card ad.

No matter that it's kinda amusing, the mere fact that they've started doing commercials for others is a very bad sign.

Oh well, I guess we've always got 'Futurama'. Hang on, they cancelled it! Double d'oh!

the dick report

Read today's offering on Public Address' Speaker column from Che Tibby. Great stuff. Excerpt:

(...)I don't know why I have such an opposition to conservatives.

Ok, maybe I do. They're dicks. No, really, have a big conversation with any really committed conservative and you'll soon come to the opinion that these people really are, 100% dyed in the wool, dicks.

Really put his finger on it there. And appropriately hits the uber-liberals with the same tag. What the left really doesn't need are any more pretentious fucking liberals.

But the Neo-cons are much more scary than your bog-standard conservative dick. Russell Brown talks about the influence of Leo Strauss on the bunch of creeps currently in charge of the White House (Wolfowitz et al, not Bush - he's a figurehead, I mean he's hardly in charge of anything really, I wouldn't put him in charge of wiping his own arse). But reading about Strauss's particular strain of elitist philosophy sheds a little more light on the reasons why the neo-cons say what they do. Dicks.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

the two things game

My two things favourites:

The Two Things about Blogging:
1. Everyone who runs one is a kook.
2. Everyone who comments in one is a kook.

The Two Things about World Conquest:
1. Divide and Conquer.
2. Never invade Russia in the winter.

The Two Things about Binary Systems:
One: 0
Two: 1

The Two Things about Biology:
1. Evolution is the process through which genetic structures that are better equipped to reproduce viable copies will tend to proliferate.
2. Except for the Platypus.

(via LinkMachineGo)

Sunday, June 13, 2004

the week that was

This week I've:

* worked at handling and mounting several million dollars of art for a Deutsche/Menzies auction. The very first painting I helped put up was worth around $1.2 million. Which I didn't find out until well after we'd finished the job, thank god.

* scooped gelato for minimum wage. Boring but tasty. Mmmmm.

* been shortchanged by the ferry autotellers, reaffirming my mistrust of machines.

* watched rugby in a huge pub full of kiwis in Bondi (All Blacks vs England, we trampled 'em). And enjoyed myself a great deal.

* been grilled about what I know about Brisbane by a Bangladeshi I met at a bus stop. It's hot, that's about it, but he was pretty persistent.

* had a teenager call me "sir" and offer me his seat on the bus (oh god - do I look that old!).

* drove across the city without looking at a map and didn't get lost!


* accidentally posted this entry as a draft and wondered where it was for three days. Sigh.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

a moment in the sun

As far as rare astronomical events go today's transit of Venus is one worth noting. Especially for those of us in the antipodes. It was to have a gander at one of these that James Cook paddled off to Tahiti in 1769, incidentally 'discovering' Australia & New Zealand on the side (small matter that there were people here already - they didn't know where they were...).

The first to been seen was in 1639, and the time between transits was later predicted by Edmond Halley (the guy with the comet). He also noted that the transits could be used to calculate our distance from the sun but unfortunately didn't live long enough to observe one himself.

The 1760s transits were not visible from Europe so, in the first pan-European scientific venture more than a hundred scientists were packed off to the wog-lands to see what they could see. Bear in mind that in those days a scientist was simply a gentleman with a large enough income to not have to work. Still, they did some impressive stuff.

The transits come in pairs eight years apart, the last ones were in 1874 and 1882 (John Philip Sousa wrote a march for the occasion, 'The Liberty Bell', it was later made instantly ridiculous by Monty Python's Flying Circus), there were none in the 20th Century, and after the second crossing in 2012 there wont be another till 2117. So this is probably your only chance. Unless you're having your head cryogenically frozen (but aren't we all? It's all the rage!).

Anyway, I could go on (and usually do about such boring sciencey things that most people find yawn-worthy) but I've got to get to work. Unfortunately I'll be inside when the transit occurs. Fucksticks.

Sunday, June 06, 2004

it was 60 years ago today

That a lot of Brits & Yanks went for a day on the beach in France. One hell of a picnic...

Just watched a doco on the D-Day landings and the phrase that keeps springing to mind is: bugger that for a game of soldiers...

call me quasimodo

I put my back out at karate yesterday. Ouch. So I'm mostly lying on my back on the floor trying not to move. Or breath.

Actually it only hurts when I use my left arm or turn my head. Or try to get up. I can still use the remote control though, so all is not lost! Changing tapes in the VCR is a bitch though.


Stupid karate. Why the hell didn't I take up chess?

Anyhoo, this is a pain to type - using only the right hand (I was a two-fingered typist before, now I'm a unidigitor - but I'm learning to use my thumb as well, another 10 years or so and I might be able look at the screen when typing) so I'm going back to the floor.

Any offers of massages would be gladly accepted. Or drugs. Mmmmm... drugs...

Saturday, June 05, 2004


Hey, does anyone know what happened to Acerbia? I hadn't looked for a couple of weeks then, when I wished to dabble my toes in the delight that it is (was!), I find there's no-one home! Was worried, now annoyed. Grump.

Friday, June 04, 2004


I'm not blogging much, or spending too much time on the 'puter at the moment because I don't have a decent chair/desk set-up. So if I spend too long online I get a really bad pain in my neck and back.

This is as an explanation (read: excuse) for all those who are expecting emails. I will get around to it but for now I've got to go do some stretching. Ow.


Check it out:

The never ending picture.

M.C. Escher would be proud.

And on a different note:

How coy!

Finally, here's a car I could love!

All via my new favourite linky blog Ignorance is bliss. Full of wild and crazy stuff, go look.


They put a hole where our tree used to be. Bastards.

There used to be a huge gum tree in the front yard which shaded the house a little and provided a barrier between our windows and those of the high-school over the road. No more wandering around naked in the mornings I guess, dammit.

It'll be much worse in summer with no shade but then we're not planning on being in this place for more than another 3 months. Even so, I don't understand why councils/landlords go in for this clear-felling shit. The tree seemed perfectly healthy and, while it inclined at a jaunty angle, wasn't threatening the houses around it. Just got too big for them I guess.

RIP tree.

text insanity

A round-up of the last month's texts from crazy Penny, first up is soccer:

Am now on the Lincoln B men's soccer team! We had a big brawl last game but I just joined in the swearing part.

2day is soccer day. I hav got brand new pointy sprigs & sum luvly pseudoephedrine based coff mix. Yay 4 recreational sport!

And jujitsu:

Hav new sports specs, they r blue adidas & hav mirror lenses which solves my telegraphing prob 4 eva. Killed a black belt on tues- yay!

Just finished grading training- hav 1/2 big toenail missing and my undapants r ripped!

Ouch! Hav just had my arse kicked @ jujitsu by a white belt... who has only been training 1 month... and is 13yrs old... :(

Dear Ask Sensei, is it bad 2 stick my Commando M's up the jaxxy of the orange belt who threw me & gav me astroturf burns on my arse? PS R u secretly in "The Darkness"? [ed: this was before my skinheadianism]

Just yesterday I got this:

Just punched a guy in the head @ jujitsu and fractured thumb. Getting pins in tomorrow. Go me. I am the uber-warrior.

And this morning:

Am enjoying a lovely dripoccino while I wait for sum screws. Betta not go rusty at surfing on mon. Career as mime artist fucked but scored paper undies and gown that doesn't do up so day not total loss.

Penny's life is so full of bizarreness that the reality may be even weirder than you imagine...