Sunday, July 25, 2004

doom gloom despondency and despair

That's my general mood these days.

As should be pretty obvious to anyone who's dropped by this site in the past, I'm taking a wee break. Don't know how long for. Perhaps just till I've got something I want to share, perhaps permanently. We'll see. Just can't do this at the moment.

Sorry to all those who've emailed & I haven't responded, I just can't write. Same with the texts (I also have no credit so can't reply). But thanks for the contact - it means a lot to me.


Monday, July 12, 2004

[this space left intentionally blank]

Sorry about the lack of content here of late. If anyone had wondered - I'm not dead or had my fingers removed. Normal bloggage will resume at some point. Probably.

Friday, July 02, 2004

aqua teen hunger force?

So am I that out of the loop that everyone knows about this show? I mean I thought Spongebob was pretty out there but this?

Reality is weirder than I think I can cope with at the moment...

But in any case:

You're Master Shake! You're manipulative,
self-absorbed, materialistic, rude, lazy, and
easily distracted. Despite all that, you still
think you're the shit.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force - which character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Frighteningly accurate...

(from Michelle *foodge*)

night people are evil! and other stories

Yes as a night person I seem to be destined for the lake of fire:
Night people, we learn here, are associated with darkness, sleep and drunkenness.
Sounds sounds alright to me. Make mine a Guinness.

Pet Metal. The cutting edge of heavy metal:
Hatebeak is an extreme metal act with ear-crushing guitars and head-pounding drums. The difference is the "singer" is a parrot called Waldo.
To show this is not an isolated example, this is Caninus. A band whose lead singer (growler? oo-er!) is a pitbull.

In related music news, there's a naked Judas Priest tribute band called Nudist Priest. You just couldn't make this stuff up...
(both via Popbitch)

For those who've seen Deliverance (squeal, city boy!) or remember The Dukes of Hazzard (man was that an offensive show or what?), this one's for you. Love that penguin.

Ever wondered what's in a magic 8-ball? No me neither, but you can find out here anyway.

An very interesting eBay item. I've had girlfriends like that...
[Edit: Warning about the images, not for the squeamish]

And this is a work of pure genius! I'll be humming it all day (badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom...). Almost eclipses the Laibach kittens as my favourite.

So there you are, that's in lieu of having to actually think of anything interesting to say. If you want intelligent/witty/interesting writing then please browse my blogroll.

Thursday, July 01, 2004


Congrats to Claire for finishing the thesis! Well done babe, I'm impressed and proud of ya :)

Next task: Save the world.

If you get it done quickly you can take the weekend off. Cheers luv.

won't someone think of the children!

Pet peeve for the day: censors.

Initially they pissed me off when the little fuckers gave my beloved Simpsons the unkindest cut (well, you know how that show is just so immoral & evil...), but then last night the wankers got snippy with Frasier! I mean OMGWTF! w00t! r0x0r!

Sorry 'bout that, been reading too many LiveJournal bloggers in a desperate attempt to feel better about my posts. I've really no idea what those "words" mean.

But honestly, do they really think that some (scintillatingly witty) repartee between Niles, Frasier & Roz about Niles getting jiggy with his wife was beyond the pale for 7pm on a weeknight? Any children who watch the show and understand it are either a) preternaturally advanced for their age and should be given copies of a la recherche du temps perdu and told to go laugh themselves silly; b) 45 year-old midgets infiltrating cozy family homes for the milk & cookies; or c) pod people from the planet Mars and should be impaled on pitchforks immediately. Actually that goes for most children. But I digress.

I mean, fuck, I don't even get some of the references. Me, who aspires to being nearly as pompous and verbose as Frasier (though admittedly with less hair & more piercings), although I'm not as well read in the egghead classics genre. And don't really care that much about wine as long as it gets me pissed. I don't really give a monkey's about good dining either. Or play the piano. Ok, so I'm really nothing like him but if I was to be reincarnated as a pompous windbag that'd be the type I'd like to be.

Though when it comes to choosing which fictional tv character I'd most like to be I'd prefer to be Bernard from Black Books. I'd even take up smoking so that I could abuse people so foully and surreally in my own scruffy bookstore.

But where was I. Oh yes, fucking censors. No, I wasn't fucking censors. Perverts. I know what you were thinking.

The nannying little sods can go put trousers on the monkeys at the zoo, I mean they're naked! Anyone could see their unmentionable bits!


a nasal buzzsaw

The Aussie accent eh? A melodious brogue it sure aint. Not that we Kiwis can sneer really ("cun yoo spuk Unglush un Nu Zuld?"). Well, no, I guess we can coz no matter how gutteral the worst of our phonetic excesses are they're nothing compared the flaying of the eardrums you can get from listening to an Aussie DJ on the radio...

I've gotten (relatively) used to it but occasionally one pops up whose nasal twang makes me want to scoop out my eardrums with a spoon. But I wisely opt for turning the radio off instead.

The only thing I've found that's worse is Australian rap.

Oh. My. God.

I hate to brag too much about NZ music... hang on, no, that should be that I love to brag about it. And the reason for that is that it compares soooo well to most of the stuff (read: 'dross') you get here in Oz.

But about their rap and hiphop... Well, good on them for trying, eh? I mean they're givin' it a go, eh? (*attempts Mike King impersonation but gives up in disgust at the thought of Mike King* *shudder*).

No, I'm sorry, no. Just stop. Please. I beg of you.

It's not just that their stuff seems to rely heavily on 10 - 15 yr old influences (Snap and C&C Music factory were good but things have moved on a little) but that they rap in strong Aussie accents. I'm afraid that's probably something that only their mothers could love. And considering the content of much of the 'rap' their mums probably aren't too happy either.

Anyway, that's my daily whinge. Now I must away to watch the tennis - Federer vs Hewitt. Hopefully Lleyton's gonna get a good Rogering.

I know, I know, I'll get me coat...