Wednesday, January 06, 2010

star-cross'd

So astrology is bollocks, yeh - but this was just a little too apt to pass up:
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I suspect you have to go down into the underworld for a while. But you have a choice about how it will play out. You shouldn't wait for some random goblin to come along and pull you down into the miserable abyss. Instead, be proactive. Shop around for a more useful abyss -- a womb-like pit with half-decent accommodations and a good learning environment -- and go there under your own power. That way you won't have to slog your way through musty fogs and creepy pests and slimy muck. You'll keep your suffering to a minimum and attract adventures that are more intriguing than demoralizing.
Hat tip to Michelle.

PS: See how I managed to resist making any 'mooning' or 'Uranus' references? I may be growing up.

4 comments:

y said...

Ha.
Better than mine:
Gemini
Time to overhaul your profile on that dating website and stop being quite so picky about the number of limbs you look for in a life partner. Maybe stop listing ‘anal’ as one of your hobbies, too.


And no I didn't write it myself, it's from the Daily Mash.

Sunshine said...

"Shop around for a more useful abyss..." Sarcasm in astrology is great.

helena said...

Think yourself lucky! I've had saturn in my sign for the past two years and it's going to be there until July!

You don't get anything as grand or poetical as an abyss or underworld with Saturn. You just get a load of shit - over and over again.

Not that I believe in astrology of course.

fishboy said...

y: At least that's good concrete, actionable advice! Goddamn, did I just use the word 'actionable'? Shoot me now, I've become a corporate robot..

Sunshine: True - if you're not doing astrology simply for shits & giggles then you need to get a clue.

helena: It's the rings, right? Saturn's rings are just a bunch of orbiting crap when you get down to it..