Wednesday, March 03, 2004

sleep deprivation...

So I'm in the fourth month of a streak of insomnia now. This one didn't arrive with a crunch like some previous bouts (the insomnia years of 1998-99 and the Great Sleepless Winter in '93 spring to mind...) but has been creeping up steadily. At first I paid it no mind, being that my 'normal' sleep patterns are what most people would term insomnia.

At first it wasn't too much to cope with: one or two 4 hour sleeps in a week? No sweat. But it's been steadily on the rise, or perhaps I should say the sleeping has been on the decline. I tend to think of the insomnia as the real thing and the sleep as something that comes around occasionally. Anyway, this last month has lead me to the realisation that it's baaack. The last week has been a succession of 4 or 5am 'nights' and its getting all too much for me...

Insomnia doesn't get you by the throat, it goes for the eyes. Mine are beginning to get that junkie/conspiracy theorist appearance, baggage for round the world travel and a red tinge that a zombie would be proud of. The brain suffers too, I find myself unable to figure out things that are second nature to me - which is embarrassing at work when Dave has to show me how to set the plumbing/pumps for the marine tank even though I've been doing it for three years.

I'm beyond knowing what to do about this. I can't sleep even when I drink unless I drink myself into a near stupor, and that's not a viable option long term. I'd just be an alcoholic insomniac. I've tried smoking ganja but that's not a goer either, my mind refuses to switch off and then I get even more brain fuzz the next day from the stone-over. I'm not willing to go back to sleeping pills because of the same thing, the effects last too long.

Anybody have any ideas? Little help here...

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