Sunday, August 29, 2004

titles suck

Yes I know I'm supposed to be shifting stuff but it's raining and my back hurts and I can't be arsed so there.

I can't think of anything new to blog about or even be bothered to pad out any of the (copious) notes I have strewn around the house, so I'm just going to unload a bunch of them. Make of them what you will. Some of them baffle even me.
  • Most interesting occupation of a dead guy this week: powder monkey. Listed under usual tasks they'd put "blowing things up".
  • Favourite Dr. Zoidberg quote for the day: "I'm swelling with patriotic mucus".
  • Hoo-fucking-rah.
  • "The boot, on the other hand, is only the size of a kipper"
  • First rule of space exploration: let the next guy know what killed you
  • Koala fingerprints are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans. Luckily for CSIs Koalas are sleepy creatures who don't tend to commit many crimes.
  • Luciano Pavarotti's former manager Herbert Breslin estimates that over the last 30 years Pavarotti has "gained and lost more than 5,000 pounds." The average adult hippopotamus weighs 5,300 pounds. So Luciano has gained and lost a whole hippo.
  • Like watching the Grammies with a really dangerous spider in your mouth.
  • So is what you're saying, then, that our car has a smaller penis than yours?
  • Your eyelids reflect and refract the turgid limnations of an eel trapped in the flickering paralysis of Chaplin's cinematography.
  • I coulda been a contender. If it weren't for my crippling lack of aptitude.
  • "Bother" said Pooh, as he was butchered for his penis and liver.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
And with that I'll shut up.

Blogging will be limited for a while due to lack of internet connection. Pity me.

Talk amongst yourselves till I get back.


Anonymous said...

This is my first visit here, but I will be back soon, because I really like the way you are writing, it is so simple and honest

fishboy said...

I appreciate the compliment. Catharsis is what I've been craving; brutal (to myself) honesty is my method. It's uncomfortable but it kinda works.