Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Fuck what a horrible thought.
First days aren't ever good - I don't remember much about my very first but I imagine there was a fair amount of upset all round. I'm trying to focus on this day as the first and that things can only get beter from here. And that they will. Not feeling it, but trying to convince myself.
I managed to drag myself to work today - against my better judgement - my so-called 'work ethic' was niggling at me. I'd left a bunch of stuff unfinished that needed to be completed. And my time sheet had to be filled out. Reasons that, now I'm here, seem to be less than convincing.
I'm keeping it together (just). Stopped myself from bolting at about 11am. Had to vomit about half an hour ago, which didn't help but at least now the stomach knots have nothing to twist upon.
So glad this is the last day I'll have to deal with this situation at work - off to NZ tomorrow and when I get back things will have changed. Which is sad but for the better I think.
Hopefully I'll be better too.