Saturday, October 30, 2004


freaky love monkey says:
on a completely other note - you seen tequila mockingbird's halloween header? very cute

frogstar says:

freaky love monkey says:
she has the _best_ fonts ever

frogstar says:
i'm gonna have a squizz now

freaky love monkey says:

freaky love monkey says:
oh, a _squizz_

frogstar says:
ooooooooo! cute!

frogstar says:
she writes so well....

freaky love monkey says:
soooo well

freaky love monkey says:

frogstar says:
*jealous too*

freaky love monkey says:
yeah well.. we should probably just get off our arses and write _anything_ for our own blogs..

freaky love monkey says:
crap, my last post was over a week ago..

freaky love monkey says:
and yours was a quizz on hand guns!

freaky love monkey says:

frogstar says:

frogstar says:
give me a topic and i'll write a post right now

freaky love monkey says:
what happened to the 'trees I have hugged' idea?

frogstar says:
i need a botanical dictionary for that

freaky love monkey says:

freaky love monkey says:

frogstar says:
pinus radiata, and all that jazz

freaky love monkey says:
*sniggers* you said pinus

Friday, October 22, 2004

note to self

When, at the end of a long, solitary and introspective day, you are forced, finally, to go to the supermarket or risk eating cat biscuits for sustenance, do not, if you wish to remain innocuous and inconspicuous, wear a tee-shirt emblazoned with a cartoon fish and the words "Hello! I am a fish!".

My ninja invisibility powers are weak today.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

blasts from the past #1

by fb.

This was my home for nearly five years, when I was living in Christchurch. My room was the upstairs left-hand side one. The one with the balcony and the eery glow..

Saturday, October 16, 2004

new meme

Well, for me. My first ever Friday Q! And I'm well aware that it's Saturday, if you know me then you'll know that 'late' is a word that is usually associated with my name. Often with swear words.

Here we go, the topic this week is "search":

FQ1: In one word, describe a luxury item you would want if stranded on a desert island for a year. Why? I wonder if a "companion" is a luxury item? Especially if "sexy" and "fun" are added. Yes, I'm cheating already.

FQ2: In one word, describe a food you wouldn't mind eating every day for a month. Why? I'd like to say "pasta" but then I'm not a fan of it dry. "Bread" is another but then I don't like white bread. "Fruit" is probably the winner, as long as it's not tamarillos. Or just dodge the question entirely and go for "tasty". It's my test, I'll cheat all I like.

FQ3: In one word, describe an occupation that you wouldn't necessarily want as a career, but wouldn't mind trying out for a week. Why? Millionaire playboy springs to mind, but I'd need more than a week to spend a million dollars. I'll have to go with "weatherman", like on tv, because they always seem to have the best drugs.

FQ Search: Enter your first name PLUS the above three words into a Google search and see if anything interesting comes up! Googling fishboy companion tasty weatherman looked like there was going to be a very strange porn site but sadly, and boringly, there's nothing there. I am unique.

Right, having wasted entirely too much time on this quiz, I must away. I've a party to be at and - oh, look at that! I'm already late!

Friday, October 15, 2004


I've not been doing much personal bloggering lately, and have been chastised for the lapse by several people (my adoring fans.. the club membership badges will be available soon my pretties).

To tell the truth though, there's not a great deal going on. I've been sick all week which has kept me from doing anything much. I hate being sick. I know most people do (except for weirdo hypochondriacs) but I'm a mean sick person. I hate being nursed or even associating much with people when sick. And this is twice in the space of a month that I've been sick. Hate hate hate...

But anyway.

I'm house-sitting for my parentals at the moment, as I might have mentioned in an earlier post. I arrived in the country and they left a day later. They get back in a couple of weeks and I leave a few days after that. We're a close family.

The main reason I'm here is to fork out exorbitant amounts of money to get a brand-spanking new Swedish tooth installed (the Swedes make good tooth). So $3500 down the track I'll have a gleaming new smile. Actually the reason it's costing so much is so that the new tooth doesn't stand out like a goth at a hip hop gig. So the new one has to blend in with my other coffee- & wine-stained fangs.

Still, we seem to be a family of dental problems at the moment. My mother has what the doctors believe to be a lichen (what the..?!) infection in her mouth, for which she's just had a $3600 treatment. That much for just 4mls of some mouthwash... I so should have been a chemist.

And my brother broke a molar recently. Chewing on granola. Damn health foods, I knew they were bad for you (my mother's advice was priceless though: "Try porridge". Like I said, we're a close & loving family..).

The other reason I'm here is to house-sit for the wrinklies while they're off swanning around South Australia. Or more to the point cat-sit. They have two young Abyssinian cats who are slightly deranged.

As an example, here are some old texts I got from Pennyloopy when she cat-sat for them some months ago:

Yr mums cat just brought home a huge tarantula thingy... I may have to move out.

Hey zoologist - is it normal for cats to climb into the washing machine?

Do the cats normally pounce on yr back and bite yr feet and pee on your car? Maybe that's cat for we love you?

What about when they hide your stuff around the house? They're on drugs from the vet at the moment so thats probably it.

And others in that same vein.

Since being here I've been routinely lacerated, comprehensively shed on - so much so that all my clothes appear to be fur and Animal Rights activists throw red paint at me on the street, used as a cushion and a scratching post, occasionally used as a battleground (I tell you, nobody wins a war..), kneaded in a way that would be endearing if it wasn't for the razor sharp talons ripping out chunks of flesh, and generally kept awake by their ADD behaviour.

This morning, while I was out, they knocked a bottle of multivitamins open. I have no idea if they ate any but they definitely licked & chewed some. I hope the only effect is a glossier coat & pinker gums, 'cause if they get any more energetic I'm moving out.

Yeah, I've missed living with cats..


Reasonably accurate..

I am an Aquarius.
(Also known as "Water Bearer")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" A hopeless and helpless dreamer, forever out of touch with reality, an Aquarius is ever lost in his own fantasy world. " (Read more | Find yours)

And the extended riff:

He never returns money he borrows, for immediately upon borrowing it, he spends it and forgets about the debt. An Aquarius constantly breaks his promises, and hates nothing more than working.

People born under this sign love badmouthing and making fun of those that are close to them, but always behind their back.

An Aquarius is drawn to greasy junk food and cheap action novels, both of which he buys in untold quantities.

His vacation is usually spent holed up in some god-forsaken bar, since he has spent all his getaway money on one of his uncounted projects destined to make the world a better place for humanity.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

best site of the day

As recommended by Michelle:

Divine Interventions.

Especially the Judas one, with a tagline "If he could fuck the Son of God imagine what he could do for you!"

Christmas is soon, put your orders in now!

Sunday, October 10, 2004


So, I had a half-formed post about the Australian federal election I was going to expand on yesterday. But didn't get the time. Now I'm overhung and just found that John Assclown Howard won a fourth term. How fucking depressing..

I'm very glad I managed to escape the last week of that odious, vitriolic political shitfest though. Political campaigns are a bunch of arse at the best of times, and this one was a grubby, tawdry affair where no-one came out looking good.

God damn I'm depressed. I've chosen to live in that country for the foreseeable future and it's leader is someone I would happily punch in the face.

I wouldn't piss down his throat if his heart was on fire.


Update: In somewhat more encouraging political news, Aucklanders voted to ditch (the increasingly deranged) John Banks as mayor and have opted for breakfast cereal guy Dick Hubbard instead. I haven't really been following the campaigns but frankly getting rid of Banks can only be a positive move.


Had a wee shindig last night. Just had a group of friends up for dinner and a few drinks. Which inevitably lead into a few more drinks.

Then some more.

So the evening stretched into the wee hours and fishboy got well soused.

But not nearly as much as another friend and blogger *cough* kurly *cough* who was drinking straight citron vodka from a wine glass in the spa pool, expounding on how great her sex life is.

Considering how she looked this morning - sorry, afternoon - when she managed to get up without puking, sex is off the menu for a little while.. *snigger*

Still, I can't really poke fun, I feel like my head is being excavated and I'm sure parrots were roosting in my mouth overnight..

Urgh. More painkillers..

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

back in the flat city

New Zealand again eh? Damn it's cold here..

Still it's nice to be back in ol' Christchurch. Mostly for the friends (although Kurly and Splarkey have brainwashed my cat.. bastards). But also for the accents. And the sports, by which I mean rugby. And the news, by which I mean rugby. And of course politics, by which I mean .. rugby. Well I am in one-eyed Canterbury after all.

But.. it's nice being back. And having a house to myself. And no job to get up for - although I did have to rise at 5-sodding-30 to take my folks to the airport this morning.

And my parents still don't understand what mornings are like with me. I mean they actually try to *talk* to me. And expect me to answer in more than grunts. And they think that I'll remember anything they say.

Sheesh, I only have the vaguest idea that I've driven to the airport and back. I remember seeing a pukeko on the side of the road. And the moon.

But that's about it.

Still, there's no blood or debris on the car so I assume it all went well.

Screw this for a game of bloggers. I'm off to have a coffee and a shower. Probably at the same time.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

nz hip hop - stand the fuck up

Well that kicked some serious ass.

I may be getting long in the tooth and I've never been able to shake my booty (being a white boy I've never really had 'booty' as such) but oh-my-god does hip hop really twank my plank. And tonight's performances seriously kicked.

We got in to catch just the end of Frontline's set, Con Psy really giving it up to the very appreciative crowd. I've not heard much of them (nothing since getting to Oz) but the little I did hear made me hungry for more. Some definite talent there.

After a short dj break Mareko and Savage came on and gave us the Deceptikonz treatment. Deft and muscular delivery. Mareko has got some good shit there, and Savage as his wing-man worked the crowd up a storm. They talked with the crowd well, did all the things good rappers should, bringing everyone into the gig. When they brought out Stop, Drop and Roll I thought that was going to be the evening highlight.

Then the headliner came on - well P-Money came up first & intro'd him on the decks. Then Scribe rolled out. Not like your US rappers, full of macho wank, talk of bitches & ho's, gangster ass rap. This is NZ hip hop and there's a strong thread of humility running alongside the bravado, and several breaks to give honest thanks to the crowd. And oh man he has an incredible stage presence. He worked the crowd up with ease - had me whooping & waving my hands like I just didn't care. Such smooth delivery too. I've missed that, being exiled to the backwaters of hip hop here in Seedneey. Sorry to say but pretty well all Australian hip hop outfits are sub-standard. Hearing Scribe in full flight made that all the more clear to me.

True there's an element of 'patriotism' in what I say - not for NZ the country, the nation, the government, but for that unique NZ culture that I miss so much. This gig tonight has made me quite homesick and I'm glad that tomorrow (today!) I fly back to misty Christchurch to recharge my Kiwi batteries.

But I digress.. Scribe and P worked up a storm, perfectly tight together, hyping the crowd & inciting us to join in. P-Money had several dj breaks where he showed off his magic fingers (and that boy has an amazing talent) but never let it overshadow his emcee, no 'drum solo' type scratch breaks. Scribe was superb. He busted out Not Many early on and had everyone on that high note from then on, not letting the connection drop throughout. The crowd was at least half Kiwi and he got us to bring the house down on several occasions - and got a surprising number of Cantabrians (your humble fishboy included) to "make some noise" too. My throat is so raw..

Scribe saved the best for last too, bringing out Stand Up to a sea of waving arms. So damn cool. Had everyone going wild. The crowd of course couldn't let it go at that and we demanded an encore. Which we got - in spades. Scribe brought out Savage and Con Psy to join him & P-Money to reprise Not Many - like the tv video edit, complete with goofing around. In fact Savage jumped into the crowd near the end and never came back. Brilliant stuff. The gig ended with Scribe on the mic, off stage, saying "Savage has left the building".

So. I had an awesome night and didn't end up feeling old & crusty at all. I came away feeling enlivened and younger than I have any right to.

Hip hop is the music for the new millenium. Seize it.

Update: Via Dub Dot Dash here's P-Money giving the NZ hip hop community a kick in the pants.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

blood & scones

Right. Original post..


Nope. I got nothin'.

Sorry if you were expecting the usual fishy wit & spleen. Try some kidneys instead.

Having a blank head day. Probably the result of being tortured to death by vampires in my dreams last night. Not a restful experience.

The dream was probably my subconscious regurgitating the experience of going to see a friend of a friend's band (the aforementioned Blood and Scones - great name) 'play' (scream? yowl? wail? hmm) at a goth bar on thursday. It took two nights before my mind could face assimilating it into my dreams.

Actually they were pretty damn good - very tight & professional, and they were obviously having a great time (although as goths they weren't allowed to have facial expressions..).

I'm off to see Scribe, P-Money, Mareko & Savage from the Deceptikonz, and Con Psy & Forty One Thirty tonight. Now that should be a blast!

Aside: Isn't Savage just the cutest hiphopper? I mean, he's just so rolly-polly and has such chubby pinchable cheeks. I defy anyone to watch the vid for Stop, Drop & Roll and take him seriously as a badass rapper.


New Neurotically Yours.

Foamy fan mail no. 6.

You gotta love that squirrel.

a mind of two halves

Far out man.. I'm, like, so groovy..
I am not a child of the 60’s but my heart is true to the cause, man. I realize that being a hippie is not just bell bottoms and tie-dye. It is also about the drugs and smelling bad, too!

But don't fuck with me coz I got a bad side:

The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. I may be able to maintain a train of thought long enough... What the fuck was I talking about?

That adds up to well over 100% but then no-one ever claimed punks or hippies were any good at maths.

Except for the basics like 1, 2, F U!

fishboy's wild years

The piano is not only pissed but it stole my beer.

you are Tom Waits!
Tom Waits... charismatic story-teller with a
penchant for freaky people and unusual
settings. You thrive on the concept of the
underdog coming out on top.

Which fucked-up genius composer are you?
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