Friday, October 15, 2004


I've not been doing much personal bloggering lately, and have been chastised for the lapse by several people (my adoring fans.. the club membership badges will be available soon my pretties).

To tell the truth though, there's not a great deal going on. I've been sick all week which has kept me from doing anything much. I hate being sick. I know most people do (except for weirdo hypochondriacs) but I'm a mean sick person. I hate being nursed or even associating much with people when sick. And this is twice in the space of a month that I've been sick. Hate hate hate...

But anyway.

I'm house-sitting for my parentals at the moment, as I might have mentioned in an earlier post. I arrived in the country and they left a day later. They get back in a couple of weeks and I leave a few days after that. We're a close family.

The main reason I'm here is to fork out exorbitant amounts of money to get a brand-spanking new Swedish tooth installed (the Swedes make good tooth). So $3500 down the track I'll have a gleaming new smile. Actually the reason it's costing so much is so that the new tooth doesn't stand out like a goth at a hip hop gig. So the new one has to blend in with my other coffee- & wine-stained fangs.

Still, we seem to be a family of dental problems at the moment. My mother has what the doctors believe to be a lichen (what the..?!) infection in her mouth, for which she's just had a $3600 treatment. That much for just 4mls of some mouthwash... I so should have been a chemist.

And my brother broke a molar recently. Chewing on granola. Damn health foods, I knew they were bad for you (my mother's advice was priceless though: "Try porridge". Like I said, we're a close & loving family..).

The other reason I'm here is to house-sit for the wrinklies while they're off swanning around South Australia. Or more to the point cat-sit. They have two young Abyssinian cats who are slightly deranged.

As an example, here are some old texts I got from Pennyloopy when she cat-sat for them some months ago:

Yr mums cat just brought home a huge tarantula thingy... I may have to move out.

Hey zoologist - is it normal for cats to climb into the washing machine?

Do the cats normally pounce on yr back and bite yr feet and pee on your car? Maybe that's cat for we love you?

What about when they hide your stuff around the house? They're on drugs from the vet at the moment so thats probably it.

And others in that same vein.

Since being here I've been routinely lacerated, comprehensively shed on - so much so that all my clothes appear to be fur and Animal Rights activists throw red paint at me on the street, used as a cushion and a scratching post, occasionally used as a battleground (I tell you, nobody wins a war..), kneaded in a way that would be endearing if it wasn't for the razor sharp talons ripping out chunks of flesh, and generally kept awake by their ADD behaviour.

This morning, while I was out, they knocked a bottle of multivitamins open. I have no idea if they ate any but they definitely licked & chewed some. I hope the only effect is a glossier coat & pinker gums, 'cause if they get any more energetic I'm moving out.

Yeah, I've missed living with cats..


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