A round-up of the last month's texts from crazy Penny, first up is soccer:
Am now on the Lincoln B men's soccer team! We had a big brawl last game but I just joined in the swearing part.
2day is soccer day. I hav got brand new pointy sprigs & sum luvly pseudoephedrine based coff mix. Yay 4 recreational sport!
Hav new sports specs, they r blue adidas & hav mirror lenses which solves my telegraphing prob 4 eva. Killed a black belt on tues- yay!
Just finished grading training- hav 1/2 big toenail missing and my undapants r ripped!
Ouch! Hav just had my arse kicked @ jujitsu by a white belt... who has only been training 1 month... and is 13yrs old... :(
Dear Ask Sensei, is it bad 2 stick my Commando M's up the jaxxy of the orange belt who threw me & gav me astroturf burns on my arse? PS R u secretly in "The Darkness"? [ed: this was before my skinheadianism]
Just yesterday I got this:
Just punched a guy in the head @ jujitsu and fractured thumb. Getting pins in tomorrow. Go me. I am the uber-warrior.
And this morning:
Am enjoying a lovely dripoccino while I wait for sum screws. Betta not go rusty at surfing on mon. Career as mime artist fucked but scored paper undies and gown that doesn't do up so day not total loss.
Penny's life is so full of bizarreness that the reality may be even weirder than you imagine...