one for the comic geeks

Anyone familiar with Sandman will get this.

new arrivals

Meet Astrid and Rasmus.

This makes 3 cats, 3 fish and a dog.

hobo matters

blackout

So my computer bricked yesterday. Yay.

There will be a short communications blackout until repairs can be made or replacements found.

I'm tending towards replacement.

I think I feel a mac coming on...

confessions again

A few years ago I dropped this bombshell. Admittedly, since then I've listened to more Radiohead than Dire Straits and, while my tastes haven't entirely swapped poles, would probably now admit to preferring the former to the latter.

But here's another attempt to destroy any vestiges of hip that might remain...

I don't like Gnarls Barkley.

It's not quite in the same category as the previous disclosure I know, they're not really comparable to Radiohead. But wait. The other half of the confession more than makes up for it:

I like ELO.

*cringe*

stupid stupid memes

I'm sure many of you have come across/been spammed with that load of tripe claiming all the spooky similarities in the lives (and especially deaths) Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy. Primarily, it's all bollocks or forced 'coincidences' - as I'm sure Snopes will attest.

So I got a bit annoyed when sent it recently - not at the sender: he's always trying to annoy me, so I don't let him - but at the stupid people who write/believe that crap. It was also followed by ways you can fold a US$20 bill to show a) the Pentagon burning, b) the Twin Towers burning, and c) Osama's name. Once again - total shite.

In any case, here's the email:

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe*.

And my response:
Lincoln was elected to State legislature in 1834
Kennedy spent most of 1934 in hospital with colitis
(aha - but it was a STATE hospital.. spooky...)

Lincoln was elected president a second time in 1964
Kennedy spent 1964 slowly decomposing
(but Lincoln was killed the year after his re-election, Kennedy the year before! Synergy! well, if you squint...)

Lincoln was a Republican, Kennedy was a Democrat
After the assassination Mary Todd went mad, Jackie Kennedy married a Greek millionaire
(but they were both members of political parties! and married! to women! who had hair!)

Lincoln was shot with a .44 calibre single-shot derringer
Kennedy with a Mannlicher-Carcano 6.5mm calibre carbine with telescopic sights
(but they were both shot in the HEAD! Amazing that someone trying to kill them would think of aiming for the same area!)

Lincoln was sitting in a theatre when shot, Kennedy was sitting in a car
(AHA, so both of them were SITTING! ooo, freaky...)

Now it gets really banal:

Andrew Johnson, Lincoln's successor, was from Tennessee and the only Southern Senator to not resign upon secession
Lyndon B Johnson, JFK's successor, was from Texas and was responsible for the massive military build-up in Vietnam
(so similar - maybe they were clones?)

Andrew Johnson was impeached after a disastrous presidency
LBJ won the next election in a landslide
(twins?)

John Wilkes Booth was born in 1838 and was an actor and promised his mum he wouldn't join the army
Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939 and was a marine and defected to the USSR, then defected back again (quitter)
(wow, that's so eerie!)

Booth was a Confederacy supporter and vocally opposed to abolition and Lincoln in particular
Oswald was nominally a Communist but his motives & philosophy are still in question
(OMG do Mulder & Scully know about this?)

Booth had acted in plays attended by Lincoln several times without shooting him
Oswald had never met Lincoln but actually tried to assassinate General Walker 7 months earlier
(uncannily similar, no?)

Booth shot Lincoln then fled the state and was caught and killed when he refused to surrender
Oswald shot JFK and was caught in a cinema after shooting a policeman, he was assassinated 2 days later in police custody
(it's like deja vu all over again!)

And here's the throat punch:

A month before he died Lincoln was giving his second inaugural address
A month before he died JFK was planning for the withdrawl of troops from Vietnam
(*gasp!*)

As for the rest of that email - I've got a better picture!
If you look closely you can see Saddam Hussein buggering a bald eagle while dressed as Uncle Sam!
Freakout!



* if this were true it'd be incredibly gross - Marilyn had been dead for a year by then...

funniest thing I have seen for years

So you know I have an odd sense of humour right? But really, seriously, this is the shit. I saw these guys do this on the Melbourne Comedy Gala thing on tv a while back - and nearly had a hernia laughing so much.

Kristen Schaal is a horse.

how to make me hate you

1) Spam my comments spruiking your shitty website. That alone is enough.
2) Rip off an interesting original idea developed by these guys with a site that is nearly identical.
3) Use abysmal grammar in your 'About' page.

I hope you have a car crash.

email conversations

You've all ready seen this...
...probably?
Flat Earth Society FAQ

Freaky weird.

I think this may be the best BBS I've ever stumbled across.

You're a masochist.

No, you are.

No, I'm a sadist.

Now you've hurt my feelings

My work here is done.

How's the dog?

Free to a good home...

Sorry, we just invested in heaters.

He'd make a good draught strip.

You sure he hasn't got any gaps?
What else is he good for?

Mittens.

Is "draught strip" an NZ term? I'm assuming you're referring to a door snake.

NZ doesn't have snakes.
But does have.. err.. strippers...

So NZ is in denial about its snakes, I see.

Denial is in Egypt.

Apparently Denial proves FET

I'd say all it proves is crocodiles.

Crocodiles in denial? I don't think so.

Why do you think they cry so much?

Because they touch themselves at night?

Because they CAN'T - arms too stubby.

I wish I had photoshop right now

I, strangely, am glad you don't.

I have teh mad psd skillz.

ROFL - u iz teh n00b @ l33t:
yu $hld haz sed 'haz'!!1!
LOLZ!!!11!

AHA!!
*points*

Oops.

Yeah, it was a slow day...

getting there

Via The Dropkicks & Spare Room