The Ladle.

Case in point about how crap a photographer I am: it took about 35 photos before I got one in which the a) lighting was ok, b) focus was clear(ish), c) the reflection was visible, and d) I didn't look like a complete twat (jury's still out on that one).

how many's that in fish-years?

If we were talking, 35 years ago today, and you tried to put one over on me and I said "pull the other one, I wasn't born yesterday", you could say "yes you were". And you'd be right.

happy snaps

I'll never be a great photographer. Quite apart from the lack of talent issue. It's the devil-may-care attitude I lack.

Case in point - the other day I was walking home and passed a brilliant scene worthy of my masterful blog (ahem). All houses in central Sydney seem to have bars on the windows, to keep burglars out (or the crazy people in, whatever), and there's a decent gap between the bars and the windows on most houses. This one house had their front windows open and their dog had climbed out the sash window and was sitting on the window ledge, head wedged between the bars watching the passers by. And panting (as you do).

It would have made a great shot (the dog was very photogenic and waggy) but I couldn't take it. Because it was someone's home. There were people in the lounge inside and I could hear them talking. I just really felt like I'd be intruding, invading their privacy. Which is a real concern when taking any photo with people in it that you're going to put on the internet. I'm not too concerned with the legal aspects, it's just that I don't like to piss people off by accident. Sure I'll do it on purpose at times, that's different *s*

On the other hand I don't really mind looking like a fool - I'll stand on a median strip trying to get a good photo or crouch in the gutter on a busy street looking like a deranged idiot.

My problem is that I really don't want to get involved in a conversation with people most of the time. Just want to take my photo and wander on. But getting permission and all that takes interaction when the whole reason I want the photo is so that I don't have to interact as a person. Just be an observer. Bloody humans, always with the questions..

Sod it, I'll stick to photos of graffitti and kittens *s*

decabook

A meme I got from Vanessa (orginating from A Flickering Light), I like this one. Hell, it encapsulates my favourite things about blogging - talking about books and making lists. If I can just figure out how to get a kitten photo in there it'd be perfect..

Anyway, authors whom I've read 10 or more books by. Apologies in advance for this being scifi/fantasy heavy. Hang on, no - I'm not embarrassed about it like many literary snobs feel I should be. Open your mind.

• Joan Aiken - the best writier of short stories, and some genuinely creepy horror books.
• Diana Wynne Joans - like Vanessa says, the Chrestomanci cycle is far superior to the whole Harry Potter monstrosity, and The Homeward Bounders is one of the best books EVER
• Iain Banks - both his scifi and 'straight' fiction are marvelous.
• Michael Leunig - do cartoons count? I reckon they should and this man is the best.
  
• Herge - well of course, hasn't everyone read all the Tintin books?
• Kurt Vonnegut - who I'm still struggling to actually like but his books always make me think.
• Ursula Le Guin - if you have even a passing interest in fantasy books read the Earthsea trilogy. And The Dispossessed is wonderful scifi.
  
• Shakespeare - the Bard. Need I say more?
• Terry Pratchett - he's been slipping lately but still funny and occasionally provocative (well, for humourous fantasy).
• Tim Powers - brilliantly weaves fantasy with historical fiction. And is not beyond really hurting his main characters.
• Jack Vance - The Dying Earth is deservedly a classic of it's kind.
• David Eddings - um. A vice, I'll admit.
• Brian Aldiss - good stuff.
  
• Patricia Wrightson - The Nargun and the Stars and the Wirrun series I haven't read for decades (eek! I'm old..) but I still remember vividly.
• Issac Asimov, Arthur C Clarke - not so much any more but still interesting for their time. Dated a bit in many cases but still great imaginations.
  
• E E "Doc" Smith - what was I thinking?!
• Robert Heinlein - I have no excuses..
  
• Piers Anthony - *hangs head in shame*
• Enid Blyton - *shifts nervously* well, haven't we all? *getting defensive* I mean, it's not a sickness, it's just a phase..
• Willard Price - *small voice* oh crap.
• Raymond E Feist - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! *weeps* I won't do it again!
• Larry Niven - *contemplates suicide*
• Ray Bradbury - *rallies* see, I'm not a complete loss. This guy was a strange and wonderful writer.
• Phillip K Dick - NOW we're talking! So ahead of his time that his time has yet to truly arrive. Read A Scanner Darkly, you won't regret it.

Um, I'll leave the list on that high(ish) note, before I unearth any more tragic authors.

Note that this is just those of whom I've read 10 or more, I have read Dickens, James, Austin, Frame, Huxley, Orwell, Hemingway, Lawrence, Joyce, et al (except for Tolstoy - I speet on your Warr and Peeeeses..) just not more than 10 books. Often only one. Just so I can drop it suavely into conversation at parties.

Let's face it, often a writer only has a few good books. Sometimes only one (come in JD Salinger). Occasionally they spin a shitty series out of that one book (come in Frank Herbert). Some die before making 10 books (RIP Douglas Adams) but the ones they left are delicious, forever-tantalising, morsels.

let's get it on!

Griffin vs Livingston (Livvy shown one-fifth size)

awwww..

I can't think of anything to blog about so here's the tried & true blogger fall-back plan: a cute kitten photo.

grump

Tell you one thing that fucks me off. Well, one of many. Have I mentioned how irritable I am? How much I'm generally a grumpy old coot? Oh I had, good. Now get off my lawn! Damn kids..

But I digress. Often. My entire life could be seen as a very complex digression.

Back to the rant. Computer software. It pisses me off. Not just for the usual reasons of obscenely inflated prices and dubious usefulness. No, it's the fact that they sell the cd and accompanying (woefully inadequate) 'information' booklet in a thumpingly huge box.

Oh I understand the reasons for doing so, I just hate them for it. It's the same reason cereal is sold in a box far larger than the actual product. So you think you're getting a good deal for your money, when in fact you're just buying a bunch of air and part of a dead tree.

Bigger = better. As always in marketingland.

But for software? Do they really think we're fooled?

Do they truly think that we think we must be getting a great deal because we're buying a cd in a box too large to hold in one hand?

What happened to the idea that, at least in the universe of computers, smaller is better? I mean, the companies that sell these products are usually called micro-something. Do they even understand what micro means?

It's enough to make you want to stab someone in the eye. Or maybe that's just me.

want!

Ummm, you know how it's, like, my birthday next week?

Well, if you'd all like to chip in and get me something I'd really love one of these.

It'd be really useful, honest! I mean, it seats 12 - that's economising, and means we can use the bus lanes. And it'd be a whizz around the garden, shifting the compost heap and the like.

I'll let you have a go too. In fact I'll need four of you to help drive.

hi, my name's Jeff and I'll be your blogger this evening

So, hi.

I'm still on hiatus. But hopefully nearing the end. I can feel the words wanting to come out but they're still a bit shy.

Actually that's a load of tripe. They're still having to be wrenched out one by one, kicking and screaming all the way. I don't know what's wrong with me but introspection ain't helping. I know my navel better than the back of my own ha- *looks* what the hell..?

No, more like I've had my head so far up my own ass I can see out my mouth.

If I can find the time to tell you all ("y'all" if you prefer..) about my ruminations on all things me recently I'll splurge them. I'll have to try and keep the bloody kitten off the keyboard first tho..

In the meantime here's a link to a flash animation of one of the best songs EVER. If you ever wanted an insight into my twisted psyche (insert sarcastic self-deprecation) I think this is screamingly funny and could have it on continuous play all day..

But then I think the Badger song is great too (and have found myself humming it at work on occasion, and they think I'm totally insane after I tried to explain it to my work mates..) so my taste is somewhat questionable at best.

Anyway, that's all for now. More soon I promise (threaten? whatever).

Oh, yes, in 10 days I'll be 35. Wheee.

And that's my real name in the title, in case you wondered. The internet isn't as anonymous as you think.

Or hope.

So screw it, this is me.:
*drops the towel*
Hey, don't judge - it's cold!

griffin

griffin
Originally uploaded by fb.

Hence my even more lack-of-sleep lately. Hyperactive little sod..

And in true blogger style I'll be posting many and various cute kitten photos over the next wee while. Bear with me till the infatuation wears off (probably about the time he knocks my coffee into the keyboard in the morning).

blogstipation

Still suffering word angst. So in a lame attempt to keep your interest while I try to re-configure my blog feng shui here's the tried-and-true (trite & true?) "what are the first 10 songs that come up when I hit shuffle & play?". Or something. Blah, talk amongst yourselves.

One Big Holiday | My Morning Jacket
Say Hello To The Angels | Interpol
Do You Realize?? | The Flaming Lips
Is You Or Is You Ain't My Baby? | Dinah Washington (Rae & Christian Remix)
I Am | Moving Units
Northern Lights | Goldenhorse
I Asked For Water | Howlin' Wolf
El Caminos In The West | Grandaddy
The Wind Cries Mary | Jimi Hendrix
Baby I Love You So | Jacob Miller