Thursday, July 01, 2004

won't someone think of the children!

Pet peeve for the day: censors.

Initially they pissed me off when the little fuckers gave my beloved Simpsons the unkindest cut (well, you know how that show is just so immoral & evil...), but then last night the wankers got snippy with Frasier! I mean OMGWTF! w00t! r0x0r!

Sorry 'bout that, been reading too many LiveJournal bloggers in a desperate attempt to feel better about my posts. I've really no idea what those "words" mean.

But honestly, do they really think that some (scintillatingly witty) repartee between Niles, Frasier & Roz about Niles getting jiggy with his wife was beyond the pale for 7pm on a weeknight? Any children who watch the show and understand it are either a) preternaturally advanced for their age and should be given copies of a la recherche du temps perdu and told to go laugh themselves silly; b) 45 year-old midgets infiltrating cozy family homes for the milk & cookies; or c) pod people from the planet Mars and should be impaled on pitchforks immediately. Actually that goes for most children. But I digress.

I mean, fuck, I don't even get some of the references. Me, who aspires to being nearly as pompous and verbose as Frasier (though admittedly with less hair & more piercings), although I'm not as well read in the egghead classics genre. And don't really care that much about wine as long as it gets me pissed. I don't really give a monkey's about good dining either. Or play the piano. Ok, so I'm really nothing like him but if I was to be reincarnated as a pompous windbag that'd be the type I'd like to be.

Though when it comes to choosing which fictional tv character I'd most like to be I'd prefer to be Bernard from Black Books. I'd even take up smoking so that I could abuse people so foully and surreally in my own scruffy bookstore.

But where was I. Oh yes, fucking censors. No, I wasn't fucking censors. Perverts. I know what you were thinking.

The nannying little sods can go put trousers on the monkeys at the zoo, I mean they're naked! Anyone could see their unmentionable bits!


No comments: