my new job..

...involves deciphering what the hell emails like this mean:

Jeff,
can I call bdm252 from old250 ?

I tried to nslookup on old250 but it doesn't work in bash

Evgeny

WTF?

I mean seriously?

I have no idea what I'm doing.

je suis avunculaire

Welcome to the world Eloise! (named after the song by The Damned? I'm not sure.. but doubt it)

Mother & baby doing fine, father going somewhat nuts with the excitement and adventure of the whole thing.

Well done fishbro & fishS-I-L, the hard bit is over now - just 18-20 years of parenting to go..

Much love to all three of you.

PS I found the perfect gift! :)

griffin again

Claire mentioned to me at Xmas that she hadn't seen any pictures of the insane orange beast for a while. Just to show that he's alive and well and still kinda cute. Occasionally. When anyone has a camera out. The rest of the time he's a psychopathic bastard... Don't be fooled.

work emails..

EF: have you heard Cinema Dub Monks?

FB: I think you just made that up

EF: Not true.
http://www.cinemadubmonks.jp/
http://www.tunes.co.uk/tunes/featured/8837.html

FB: you know I haven't got teh interwebs at work so it could still be an elaborate hoax..

EF: Yes, that's right. It could just be an elaborate hoax.

FB: you've got so much time on your hands after all, who knows what you invent to pass the time...

EF: Most of it is indeed not safe for the easily offended...or confused.

FB: I'm confused.. should I be offended?

EF: Only if you find it easier.

happy new year?

Hang on a sec: no-one asked me if I'd finished with the last one.

Bastards.

so...

I'm back in Godzone, down in Christchurch for Xmas where it's midsummer. Which, as longtime readers will realise, leads to my annnual 'WTF!' about the weather.

I know, I know: Broken record. Gone soft from too much time in Seednee. It's coz you've got no hair. Etc.

But this has been going on too long - every sodding Xmas I come back here and every freaking time it's cold and rainy. It was 28 degrees when I got on the plane in OZ, it was 8 (yes 8) degrees when I got here.

On the longest day of the year.

Seriously, there's something awry here.

But you know the icing (pun intended) on the cake? What really tops off this experience?

There's a bloody iceberg off the coast!

That's it. I quit. Not coming back here till you lot sort this out.

Right, I'm off to huddle in front of the fire...

ps

Off to allegedly sunny NZ in a couple of hours. Anyone want any duty free?

filler

More IM crap in an attempt to avoid blogging anything with meaning. 'Enjoy'.

FB: Re: error - Any idea why this occurred? I can fix it ok , just wondering why it happened..
EF: Because someone inthe printroom doesn't have good hand-eye coordination?
FB: something to do with them being lazy-eyed psychos? The usual then..
EF: hey man, what's with all the hate?
FB: passes the time, keeps the blood moving..
EF: have you been listening to Boom Town Rats again?
FB: No - why? Do they fill you with rage and blood-lust?
EF: well, yeah. but the voices inside my head keep them in check.
FB: my voices can never agree on who I should kill first.. they're always having arguments then sulking

talk talk

I've been a bit distracted lately, what with the new job and jumping out of planes and crap. And f*@#king Xmas.

In lieu of a real post here's a short exhange I had with a mate from work; now sadly fled to the welcoming shores of Sweden. Which cuts the number of people I actually like at work in half...

FB: [discussing work] Any reason you can think of why these guys' ID would come through like that? Or even any interest?
EF: Sorcery.
FB: Right, we should redraw that pentagram and sacrifice a chicken. Or perhaps a virgin...
EF: The only virgins I see are ugly. Is that important?
FB: Ugly is good. Death's a blessed relief for them.. And us. Make a list, we'll work through it.

Will post more over Xmas when I'm at my folks' place. Coz there's bugger-all else to do there.

slither

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net