On more inspection of the captive rodent s/he's been upgraded to rat status.
Jen suggested it's a Norwegian Hooded rat (I bow to your ratspertese, never having owned a rodent myself - although I did have a girlfriend who had a rat called Strangely Brown..). Not knowing any Norwegian phrases I can't test this - although I do work with someone who knows Swedish so I'll see if he knows how to say "excuse me sir or madam but what species are you?". It must be a common one in all the phrase books.
Many thanks for the myriad of interesting names you've all suggested. I particularly like Agamemnon, Teufel (devil-rat, how appropriate), Spanks, and Elvis but the one that wins out is Claire's ludicrous suggestion. Please welcome Cuntytitwank McFuckbollocks-Arsemunch. CMA to his friends or when any kids are around.
In other news: there's been a lot of traffic through my quiet corner of the interweb lately, thanks in large to a random linkage from Samantha Burns. God knows why. If you're looking for interesting stuff try the blogroll on the right there, I can't write for shit but have great taste in those that can.
So I'd like to say 'Hi!' and 'Welcome!' to you all. But that's really not me. So I'll stick to hollering at y'all, curmudgeonly-like, from my porch:
Get off my lawn you damn kids!
*turns on the sprinklers*