...and the grinding noise appears to be coming from our servers.
After a delightfully drunken weekend away in Aotearoa for the wedding of good friends (spending $300+ on a fantastic suite to sleep in 4 hours, shower a couple of times and vomit occasionally..) I return to sunny Sydney and to a hufuckerous (adjective du jour!) shit-storm at work.
I really should have expected this since people always seem to wait till I get back rather than trying to fix anything themselves. Or even tell anyone else about the problems.
And I've figured out why servers are called servers - not because they provide 'service' or anything so helpful. It's because they serve as convenient scapegoats if anything goes wrong.
"The database is down"
"Sorry, the server is offline"
"I can't upload data"
"Server's refusing connections at the moment"
"Datalinking is working very slowly"
"The server just stepped out for a coffee"
"I just lost 22 marriage files!"
"The server hates you. Sacrifice a chicken. It likes honey-fried with bbq sauce"