This fucking country is trying to kill me. I swear it.
It seems that everything here wants to eat me. And not in the good way.
The other night, whist performing my regular karma-leveling rodent rescue (or feline fun deprivation as Griffin would have it) I was viciously attacked by a caterpillar. That's right: a fucking caterpillar!
The sonofabitch lept out of a tree onto my neck and tried to sink his gummy little fangs into me. Bastard. So I used up the cosmic brownie-points gained in the mouse-catch-and-release program by squishing the little larval bastard's ass..
Not before the damage was done, however: I have the worst itchy, stinging neck where he rasped his poisonous hairy belly over me.
Don't come to Australia: it'll try to kill ya. If the sharks, crocs, spiders, snakes, scorpions, spiders, jellyfish, dingos, and spiders don't get you the evil butterfly spawn will.
But the spiders will probably get you.
Did I mention the spiders?