Tuesday, June 26, 2007

same old same old

My day has been spent having conversations much like this from The Young Ones:

Mike: Maybe you shouldn't have poured that washing up liquid into it.
Vyv: But the manual said: "Ensure machine is clean and free of dust before use."
Mike: Yeah, but it didn't say: "Ensure machine is full of washing-up liquid."
Vyv: Ah, but it didn't say: "Ensure machine isn't full of washing-up liquid."


I've been emptying a lot of washing-up liquid out of machines.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

IT stands for "irritating twats"

Why is it that people who work with computers for a living are often the absolute worst when it comes to communicating with the damn things?

I say this fully aware of the irony that I work in IT and very seldom send non-work related email (so those friends who are waiting on email from me and were about to get snarky can consider me well snarked). This is about work. I'm usually sending more than 20 emails a day. Although I reckon only about one in 5 gets read by anyone.

My gripe (today) is that these IT geeks, while having a grasp of Unix or Java of which I could only dimly dream (and makes fetching bespectacled nerdettes swoon (also dimly, in their dreams (those of the nerds, not the imaginary nerdettes (yes, I'll quit with the brackets now)))), seem entirely incapable of grasping the operation of a keyboard and formulation of grammatically correct English.

Proof of which I offer hereforth (or fifth (ok, ok, no more brackets (or stupid jokes))). These are requests for informations sent by a developer today. At least I think they were requests - it was hard to tell given the complete lack of question marks. Or punctuation.

Firstly:

Atempt to transmit the attached file (has been format for display) results in the following eror.
Spec's for childAgeType shows UN as valid.
Could you have look and let me konw why the errors occurring.

*teeth grinding at abuse of apostrophes*

And then:

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE REGISTERED TO GET UPDATES.

Whoa dude, no need to shout...

Followed by:

here a list of changes\rules made
Is there a nother docu that says "both DoB and Age can be left blank if a selection is made from AgeExtra"

At least he got a bit of that right. Hang on, that's me he's quoting...

Finally:

Should not it be the other way around. Every developers testing one be changed and advised of live change 1 week later (Unless extend for bug fixes)

Actually, I haven't responded to that one yet. Because I have no idea what he's getting at.

I give up. Communicating with fish was easier than dealing with this bunch.

Monday, June 18, 2007

dribble

Spent the weekend avoiding vacuuming using the biodiversity defense. This works along the reasoning that since the rainforests are being cut down every effort we make to maintain the diversity of species on earth helps.

Think global, act local.

Not a very good argument really. Just trying to turn my slobbishness into ethics.

Oh, also went to a food & wine festival.

Word of advice for businesses thinking they raise your profile: don't bother. I don't remember a single brand name from the whole day. Too pissed.

Oops. Bad consumer *smack*


Word of the day: sool. Just because.

Friday, June 15, 2007

a poem from all of me...

200mgs of Paliperidone a day
Should keep the voices away,
But to guarantee wardrobe monsters are gone
Use a back-up Risperidone.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

LOL CATZ

LOL CATZ

c jmjrz l33t ftoshp skillz!

kthxbye

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

worst day ev0r...

...and a broken shoe was the best part of it.

Quite apart from the usual smorgasboard of moronic yapping colleagues and fixing of other people's idiotic screw-ups, today I happened to be working on the FD accounts list and somehow managed to delete half of them.

So if you're a funeral director in NSW and are having difficulty uploading data you know who to blame. Please don't call me.

Monday, June 04, 2007

from java guru to Ponce de Leon wannabe...

My software developer is going here. Leeches, snakes, spiders, virulent diseases, drug-smugglers - living in Sydney has been good training!

He signed on as communications and meterology guy for an expedition to study the crater. There have only ever been two expeditions there and as yet they've not discovered the origins of it. So he's going on a two month trek into the Amazon rainforest to study a mysterious crater. How cool is that?

I totally reckon he's going to be abducted by aliens.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

carrots of the pirabean

Against my better judgement I saw Pirates of the Carribean: Oh God Let The World End So I Can Get Out Of This Piece Of Shit Movie tonight.

If you've not seen it: don't.

If you have - the comment has to be made (and probably has been by many): Worst.Case.Of.Crabs.Ev0r!